Identity crisis

My adventure begins 27 Feb when I check my email and see "Your Federal Return Has Been Rejected" "Your State Return Has Been Rejected".
My first thought is wtf. So I head over to turbotax, log in, check the error code, and follow their instructions for "fixing" them. I did not notice any discrepancies regarding my ssn, which is what the code was for. So I resend them. Almost immediately I get another email, same error code. I head back to turbotax and investigate further. Apparently this code happens when someone else uses the same ssn, on another tax return, during the same year. It can be as simple as someone mistyping their number, and end up using mine, when they file. So I call the IRS identity theft hotline, as instructed by turbotax, and find out it means I must now paper file mine, with the Identity Theft Affidavit form 14039, plus proof that I am who I say I am. If I am really lucky it will end there. (and of course I am expecting a refund, from both State and Federal, go figure)

So I download their form, fill it out, and prepare to print it. Next thing I know the printer has an error. Since the printer sits on the top shelf of the desk, and I am too short to see up there, I grab the nearest item to stand on, an empty box. Not the smartest move, but by then "smart" had left the building, and "frustration" had taken over. The box flips on its side, I crash shoulder first, into the corner of the gun safe, then twist my hip coming down, almost slamming headfirst into the side of the desk. I hear glass breaking, and stuff falling over, but my first thought once everything settles is...........dayemit what next! I let "smart" take over, and go get my step-stool, read the error code, which says remove back panel of printer and clear out all paper. There is a back panel on that thing? Who knew?! I try to find this mysterious back panel, but the only thing removable back there is the paper roller, so I yank that out.... no paper. Okayyyyyyyy then, slap that sumbiotch back in, flip the printer back around, and reboot it. Error message gone. Woooohooooooo! Get back off the step-stool, bring up the form I need to print, send it to the printer and 2 seconds later I see my two pages. Two BLANK pages. I am out of ink. ^@(*#)@!*)#_  By now my patience is gone, my body is screaming for advil, and I have to work the next two days, so no ink until Sunday.
(By then the bruises should be turning real pretty colors.)

I swear to all the gods above, if this is anything more then a simple typo, by some moron who can't double check their work...... I won't have enough "get out of jail free cards", and will require bail money by the time I am done.

Time for new blood

That south paw trainee from Thursday got half way through the shift last night, when the next thing I know he is wearing a knee brace. Less than an hour later he is complaining about his shoulder and wrist. (future workman's comp claim coming up).
He'll be gone by tomorrow, and starting Friday I'll be breaking yet another new one.
Ummm I mean breaking in a new one, yeah that's it :D

The South paw disease

I was training a new person on Thursday night, and they tend to give me "the winners". This one was having issues figuring out the shrink wrapper, so I asked him if he was left or right handed. He said his doctor diagnosed him as left handed.
(I'll let that sink in for a few seconds.....)

 Being ambidextrous, I took offense for both the North and the South paws. 
Now, what I want to know is.. WHEN did being a South paw become a disease, and require a diagnosis from a doctor???

Thanks

I have heard revenge is a dish best served cold. But you didn't need to be so literal about it. And to think, I even apologized. 

I took this pic on my way home this morning.
This quaint little snow rutted lane is what I travel on everyday out to the highway. Most people say keep it between the lines. We say keep it between the ditches.
(you may not see them, but they are there, lurking below the snow, waiting to suck in your car)

Which 'Avengers' character are you.

So I got bored, and decided to take another silly quiz. This is what I ended up with. 

You can find the quiz HERE
(I am not sure I would call myself volatile, but I do avoid confined spaces. As for wild inclinations, I plead the fifth on that one.)

To the people of the Southern and Northeastern USA...

Sorry.